Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
