his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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