I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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