So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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