upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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