Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
