She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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