I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
