I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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