Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
