It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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