She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
