# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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