I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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