I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
