last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
