so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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