This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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