Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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