id be glad to
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
