he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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