So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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