Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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