Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
