Define "chronic" masturbator.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
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