Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
