i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
fuck your aforementioned shoe
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
