What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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