eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
