OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize