I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
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I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
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struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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