I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
