Duck Duck Cougar?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im holly from the hills drunk
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
soo... how was my night?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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