I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
