Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away