dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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