You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*