Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.