Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
