I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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