So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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