You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
