You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
