haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
