i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
