Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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