I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
