Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
