you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
