they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
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I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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