Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
