We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
