God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
