OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize