So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
