I'm really into asian looking animals
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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