her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize