If that was your dad, he is hot
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
and she was petting her beer can
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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