you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
