he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
