Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
