I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
