How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
