i think i have herpe
just one?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
