i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
