We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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