Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
